Is It Cheating if He Follows Other Women? Anxiety of Micro-Cheating in the Age of Social Media.

In the past, cheating was often associated with physical acts. Now, betrayal can live in the gray areas: Why are they following that person? Why did they like that post?. This may cause us to question constantly: Is that something to be concerned about? Social media has blurred the lines. What once felt like clear boundaries now seems more elusive, leaving many partners uncertain about what constitutes crossing the line.

Many women I see in my office describe a persistent unease, not because their partner has done anything “wrong,” but because they’re flooded with content that feels threatening. Scantily clad influencers, OnlyFans promotions, it's a constant stream of stimulation that can quietly erode your sense of safety.

You’re not crazy for feeling unsettled. You’re working to build intimacy in a culture that constantly invites distraction. Never before have we had to consider stalking a partner’s Instagram followers and following.

What Helps:

If micro-cheating anxiety is taking up space in your mind, here are a few things to consider:

1. Reflect: Is this fear about my partner, or about something inside me? Sometimes the anxiety is a gut instinct. At other times, it’s old wounds or attachment fears resurfacing. Getting curious about where the fear is coming from (and what it’s protecting you from) is a powerful first step.

2. Talk about boundaries early and often. What counts as cheating to you? Being clear about what feels safe for you and sharing that with your partner helps bring clarity to what might otherwise be murky waters.

3. Detox your feed. Curate your social media in a way that soothes your nervous system. If certain accounts, influencers, or "relationship advice" videos spike your anxiety, it’s okay to unfollow, even if everyone else is watching. Relationships are unique and personal. I invite you to protect your relationship; you don’t have to share with others or rely on others for clarity.

4. Jealousy isn’t toxic. How we manage it can be. Feeling threatened or insecure is human. What matters is how we respond to that feeling. Do we shut down? Spiral? Accuse? Or do we pause, reflect, and communicate?

5. Therapy can help you trust yourself again. When you can’t tell if your fear is intuition or insecurity, therapy can help you sort through the noise. It’s not about getting rid of the fear; it’s about learning to hold it with more compassion and less reactivity.